Rat Humour

1. When you’re in the supermarket, you constantly wonder whether you could feed that to your rats, too.
2. In your house, rats outnumber humans by at least four to one.
3. You send hate mail to the pest-exterminator.
4. You can’t walk past a pet shop “just in case” …
5. Instead of family photos on your desk at work you have pictures of your rats.
6. You’ve not thrown away a cardboard tube from the toilet tissue in years.
7. Your never finish a meal so that you can share it with your rats.
8. When you’re at the hardware store you start thinking of cage improvements.
9. You start buying really expensive camera equipment so you can get a great picture of that pose your rat’s always doing.
10. Coat genetics is the main topic of conversation with your friends.

1. If I like it, it’s mine.
2. If I’ve peed on it, it’s mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it’s mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine.
5. If it’s mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I’m chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it just looks like mine, it’s mine.
8. If I saw it first, it’s mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If it’s broken, it’s yours

Element: Rat
Symbol: Rt
Atomic weight: 450g

A solid a room temperature, although has a tendency to melt into
a pliable form when massaged. [Some scientists, e.g. Bailey et al.,
have suggested it is malleable enough to be pressed into sheets,
although we have yet to confirm this as their experiments tend to
mysteriously disappear under doors]
Despite attraction for power cords, it is a poor electrical conductor.
Far from dense.
Thermally insulated by a layer of soft fibres which magnetically attracts
human skin of the hands and lips.
Emits an audible alarm when squeezed or poked.

Rt+ attempts to bond with Rt- at any chance it gets.
Rt+ can become explosive when mixed with similar ions, but is
effectively diffused by removal of large electrons to form neutral Rt.
Propensity to consume any organic matter it encounters.
Becomes excited by addition of Element Yg (Yogurt drop).
Insoluble in water, although wetting tends to turn it into a harshy
acidic reagent that is hazardous to human skin.
Once established in an area, it acts as a catalyst for the absorption
of more and more of like element into that area.

Industrial use is limited to minor fertilizer production and as a
biological paper shredder.
Considered by some to be a rare and precious commodity in it's
natural state.

Prone to leakage of internal fluids.
without careful monitoring, can cause environmental degradation.

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